Rocks & Pebbles

If you’re an even somewhat frequent consumer of self-help or time-management content, you’ve probably heard of the ‘Rocks & Pebbles’ analogy.

But for the uninitiated…

Imagine your time and energy as a jar. Your task is to fill this jar with three types of items: rocks, pebbles, and sand. Each represents different aspects of your life:

• Rocks are your most important goals and values. These are the non-negotiable commitments that shape your life's purpose–family, health, career aspirations, personal growth.
  

• Pebbles are secondary tasks. They're necessary and valuable, but less critical: work projects, hobbies, social engagements, personal development taks.
  

• Sand represents the trivial activities that can eat up stupid amounts of time if we're not careful (social media, cough cough). One second you open up TikTok for a ‘quick 5 min scroll’ and the next thing you know you’re three hours into a rabbit hole learning about how some dude bred 1.4 million frogs in his backyard (god forbid men have hobbies).

Here’s the kicker: If you fill your jar with sand first, there won’t be enough room for the rocks and pebbles.

BUT, if you place the rocks in the jar first, then add the pebbles, and finally pour in the sand, everything will fit perfectly (and with room to spare). Crazy stuff. Check out this video.

Unfortunately, many of us fill our days with sand, leaving little room for our rocks and pebbles. We scroll through social media feeds, oblige to ‘one more’ Netflix episode before bed, or argue with strangers on Reddit about how some seemingly unrelated event will affect Lebron’s legacy. Before we know it, the day is gone, and we've neglected our most important goals and relationships.

So how do you avoid falling into this trap?

Identify our rocks: What are your core values and most important goals? These should get your prime time and energy.

Recognize our pebbles: What secondary activities are still important to you? Identify these activities (reading, playing sports, knitting, calling loved ones etc) and block dedicated time for these, ensuring they don't get crowded out by digital distractions.

Manage our sand: Set clear goals & boundaries for digital activities that can easily consume too much time. Treat social media, casual browsing, and digital entertainment as sand - to be enjoyed in moderation, filling the gaps between your rocks and pebbles.

This is where the concept of SMART goals becomes crucial. By setting clear, well-defined objectives for our digital activities, we can transform potential "sand" into purposeful "pebbles" that support our larger life goals.

But before we go any further I want to make one thing abundantly clear…

Technology itself isn’t inherently sand. Social media isn’t even inherently said. Use intentionally, both can be valuable pebbles or even support your rocks.

The key is intentionality.

What Are SMART Goals?

SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. It’s a widely used goal-setting framework used by probably millions of people at this point.

And like most things that are popular, it’s popular for a reason. This shit works.

1. Specific

What exactly do you want to achieve?

Ambiguous goals can lead to confusion and lack of direction, so your goal should be clear and specific. Telling yourself "I want to use my phone less” is pretty vague. It’s like saying you want to "be healthier" without deciding if that means eating more salads or running a marathon.

Be specific so you know exactly what you’re working towards.

Example: "I want to reduce my daily screen time on social media to 1 hour per day."

Pro-tip: Set goals for specific apps rather than overall screen time. As previously discussed, all screen time isn’t created equal. You shouldn’t feel bad about yourself for using Google Maps for 5 hours to get home from a road-trip.

2. Measurable

How will you measure your progress?

To track your progress, your goal must be quantifiable. This allows you to see how far you've come and when you've met your goal. The previous example I gave above does this perfectly. 

Example: "I want to reduce my daily screen time on social media to 1 hour by spending less time on social media and reinvesting that time into."

or…

Example: “I want to spend 15 minutes per day on Instagram by using Opal to set limits on my usage and keeping my phone out of the bedroom.”

Even better, select one or two activities that you would like to channel your newfound time into. Then set a SMART goal for that too.

Example: I want to spend 15 minutes per day on Instagram and read 2 books per month by keeping a book on my bedside table instead of my phone. 

3. Achievable

Is your goal realistic and attainable?

We all have that friend who declares they’re going to run a marathon after never having jogged a mile.* Don’t be that friend.** Set a goal you can actually achieve.

Reducing screen time by a two hours per day starting tomorrow might be tough but shaving off 15 minutes each week for the next eight weeks? Easy money.

*I HAVE made the case before that it’s possible to run a marathon without any training and that it’s more mindset than physical ability. I will die on that hill but if you’d like to flame me then so be it.

**I have no intentions of running a marathon.

4. Relevant

Why is this goal important to you?

Reflect on why this goal matters and how it’s relevant to your life. If your goal doesn’t light a fire under you, it’s going to be easy to ignore. Maybe you want to cut down on screen time so you can ace your finals or simply feel more present during dinner. Make it matter.

I like to go a step further and plan a ‘consequence’ if I don’t hit the goal. Price pacts (pay a considerable amount of money if I don’t change my behavior) have worked well for me in the past. Especially the idea of donating the money to a cause I don’t support. 

 Example: "Reducing my screen time will help me focus more on my studies so I can get a good job out of college."

5. Time-Bound

What is your deadline for achieving this goal?

Setting a deadline creates a sense of urgency and prompts you to act. It also allows you to break your goal into manageable steps.

Example: "Within the next eight weeks, I want to spend 15 min per day on Instagram for a full month by using Opal and keeping my phone out of the bedroom. Reducing my screen time will help me focus more on my studies so I can get a good job out of college.

Setting SMART goals for your digital habits isn't just about reducing screen time. It's about reclaiming your attention - your most precious resource. It's about creating space in your life for deep work, meaningful relationships, and the kind of sustained effort that leads to real achievement.

So as you set your goals, think beyond the immediate benefits. Consider the compound effect of your choices. What could you achieve with an extra hour of deep focus every day for a year? What opportunities might you create or notice if you weren't constantly distracted?

We all know tech isn’t going away. If anything, it will become more pervasive, engaging, and distracting.

But the choice of how to interact with it? That’s all you baby.

Resources

Digital Wellness Coaching: If you’re interested in digital wellness coaching to help you build healthier, more intentional relationships with your technology (either individual or group), feel free to book a call here.

Digital Detox Tools: A free directory of 75+ digital wellness products, software, and services. Access it here.

Accountability Group: I’m creating an accountability group for people who are dedicated to reducing their screen time and building more intentional relationships with technology. It will be paid, but reasonable (gotta have some skin in the game). Reply to this email if you’re interested.

Contact Me: If any of my writing resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you. You can reply to this email or DM me on Twitter.

Lastly, if there’s anyone in your orbit who you think would find this interesting, it would mean the world if you shared this on social or sent it their way.

Other than that, if you live in the states I hope you have a a hell of a 4th of July weekend with the people you love. For the rest of ya, enjoy the rest of the week and I’ll see ya on the flip.

Now stop scrolling and do something great!

Randy