The Common Struggles of High Performers

It’s been a hell of a week.

On Tuesday, I co-hosted an event with 45+ founders, investors, and other high-performers at a bathhouse in NYC. Massive saunas, cold plunges, hot tubs, and steam rooms.

The place was massive. It even had a cafe in it where you could eat dumplings in your bathing suit. Dreams really do come true.

Naturally, this whole place had no phone policy. It was also underground so you couldn’t really get service if you tried.

Because of this, everyone was fully present. And when people are present, they tend to talk about real shit. And when you talk about real shit, deep relationships form 10x faster.

Our relationships with technology were a common conversation. Of the 10+ people who I spoke to about this, everyone outwardly admitted they had a problem.

A few common themes kept coming up:

Too Much Context Switching: It’s impossible to focus and do deep work when you are constantly being pinged, switching apps, and having 10+ conversations at once. You might think you’re good at multi-tasking (I used to), but you aren’t.

Self-Comparison on Social Media: This was the big one. Nearly every person I spoke to admitted to comparing themselves to other founders / professionals, even though they knew it was stupid & all a highlight reel. Revenue numbers, promotions, new hires. It’s easy to feel like you are behind, no matter how hard you try, and it’s exhausting.

Balancing Productivity with Overuse: Our technology is a staple of how we work, live, and unwind—and everyone’s relationship with their devices is different. Every single person faced the challenge of needing to use their phone for work, but then getting sucked into other things.

The ‘Market Research’ Trap: If you are a founder, marketer or agency owner, this will hit hard. Some brought up the need scrolling social media for “market research” and education, as the way to justify excessive screen time. I’ve been there too. This requires deep intentionality around crafting the right content diet and learning when you truly need to be on these platforms vs when you’re doing ‘junk miles’.

Taking Action: Most people had tried to improve their tech habits but they either worked for a little and fell right back into the same habits or were entirely unsuccessful. The need for an external accountability partner, trainer, or coach was clearly apparent.

Less than 24 hours later, I attended the AGM of a VC firm that my agency works with. The day was filled with great conversations, prescient predictions, and incredible tech demos.

I can’t say too much, but shit is about to get crazy. Tech form factors are getting smaller and more immersive, and will only continue to blend seamlessly into our daily lives. Whether we want them to or not.

But perhaps the most interesting nugget was from a fireside chat was with one of the most well-respected founders & leaders in Silicon Valley.

She was asked about how she manages her children’s screen time (the fact that this question was even asked shows how relevant this topic is rn) and she said that her relationship with her 13 year old is constantly telling him to get off his phone.

As someone who played a large role in building one of the most prominent social media platforms, she fully recognizes the dark side & is actively looking for ways to limit it.

Says a lot.

If you’ve made it this far, there’s a good chance you’ve birthed me or you’re interested in building a healthier relationship with tech.

Last week, I started a small Slack community of people committed to improving their digital wellness & would love to have anyone from this newsletter involved. My only ask is that you are active, respectful, and open-minded. If you’re interested, reply to this email. 

Also, one more crazy story before I let y’all go: At the event I met a new friend who also had previously lived the digital nomad life. We connected over our love for travel and how most NYC corporate folk’s pea-brains can’t conceptualize the idea of working remotely for a fraction of the cost of living. Less than 24 hours later, he texted me that he booked a spontaneous flight to Cairo and asking if I wanted to come. Unfortunately I couldn’t swing it but I fucking love this energy.

Big announcement coming soon. Love y’all.

Resources

Digital Wellness Coaching: If you know you want to improve your digital wellness, but don’t know where to start, let’s chat. (This is the cheapest it’ll ever be)

Digital Detox Tools: A free directory of 75+ digital wellness products, software, and services. Access it here.

That’s it for this week. Stop scrolling & go do something great!

Randy