The Dangers of the Uncanny Valley

Last Wednesday, I hosted another Kanso ‘offline’ event at a very cool pool bar on the edge of the East Village.

And while I’ve been continually amazed at the response to these gatherings, this one hit differently.

For 2.5 hours, 35 people—founders, investors, and professionals from all walks of life—put their phones away and did something increasingly rare…

They slowed down, reconnected, and just existed in the presence of one another.

No distractions, no notifications, no frantic glances at a screen or reaching for their phones during periods of awkwardness.

Just real human connection.

The event ran over an hour longer than attended with some people still not retrieving their phones until I forced them to take it back. It was awesome.

But what’s been especially exciting is how organically these events have grown.

Each one has been a mix of familiar faces and new attendees, with about half discovering Kanso through word-of-mouth, Luma (think: EventBrite or Meetup.com but doesn’t suck), or through my content.

And based on the feedback from this past event, it’s clear we’re onto something:

• “Being unplugged was fantastic, truly amazing.”
  

• “Felt great to not have my phone for 2.5 hours after a long day and not be thinking about work. Truly enjoying each other’s presence is so refreshing.”
  

• “I was surprised by how fast time went by without looking at my phone—2 hours felt like 45 minutes.”
  

• “Not having my phone as a clutch or excuse (nor anyone in the crowd) allowed me to quickly start socializing and engage with the people around me.”
  

• “I found that the people attending the event were super high quality since the theme of the night self-filters for people who are interested in bettering themselves and are ambitious about life.”

Plus there was Heshie Brodie’s thoughtful testimonial, which perfectly captured the ethos of Kanso.

With a few more of these events under my belt, the verdict is clear: people want to disconnect, escape the noise, and build relationships that don’t feel like transactions.

They just need the space to do it.

Most of the people who attend Kanso events (and engage with my content) are ambitious high achievers. They’ve built businesses, done hard things, formed deep relationships, and generally live very healthy lifestyles.

But building a health relationship with technology is their final infinity stone. And it’s the hardest one to get.

Ironically, these same ambitious people, many of whom work in tech (myself included), eagerly embrace new tech innovations without properly evaluating their place in their lives. They then find themselves wondering why they feel so disconnected despite being more "connected" than ever before.

And speaking of new products that may make this problem exponentially worse...

This week, Sesame released its new voice model as a research demo. Not gonna sugarcoat it. Shit is WILD (and a bit terrifying).

Some say it crosses the uncanny valley (I agree), where AI becomes indistinguishable from human interaction.

I’ve long been skeptical of products like Friend (their announcement trailer makes me wanna puke) and the idea that people would choose AI companionship over real connection (despite CharacterAI users already spending an average of 2 hours per day on the platform).

But after trying the Sesame demo, I kinda get it. And that’s what really scares me.

For the first time, I felt like there was a real human behind the voice, even though I knew there wasn’t. The pauses, intonations, and subtle hesitations (while not perfect) mimicked something deeply human.

We’re barreling toward a future where opting out of human connection is the easier, more convenient choice. Where talking to an AI friend feels preferable to dealing with the nuances, unpredictability, and effort of real relationships.

And while AI therapists, chatbots, and personal assistants that deal with the soul-crushing tasks of adulthood like canceling a gym subscription or fighting for an airline refund have practical benefits, I worry about what this does to the fabric of society.

So let me ask you something…

When was the last time you spent two uninterrupted hours with a friend? The last time you sat in silence without reaching for your phone? The last time you gave someone your full, undivided attention out of choice, not obligation?

Here’s my challenge to you: In the next week, make one plan that requires you to be fully present. No phone, no distractions, just you and another human being.

A walk, a coffee, a meal, literally anything.

Notice the itch to reach for your phone like it’s some sort of emotional support device. Notice how the conversation shifts when there’s no screen between you and another person. Notice what it’s like to actually be there, fully, awkward silences and all.

Because if being present feels unnatural, that’s exactly why you need to do it.

Otherwise, you might just wake up one day and realize your closest relationship is with a chatbot named Greg.

Other Resources

Kanso Digital Wellness: 1:1 and cohort-based digital wellness programs for those looking to reduce dopamine burnout and unlock more focus, clarity, and success. Check it out here.

The Digital Reset Journal: The first mindfulness journal specifically geared towards building a healthier relationship with technology. If your New Year’s resolution includes “less screen time” or “being more present,” I guarantee this will help. Check it out here.

Life in Dots: Input your age, daily average sleep, and screen time, and get a visualization of your remaining life in dots (plus you can download a phone wallpaper of it).

Digital Detox Tools: A free directory of 75+ digital wellness products, software, and services. Access it here.

That’s all for this week. More NYC & SF events coming soon. If you wanna attend, just shoot me a message…

Now stop scrolling & go do something great,

Randy