The Hardest Skill to Learn

You may have noticed that I missed your inbox last week. Maybe you didn’t.

Either way, I’m pretty bummed about it. My nearly 40-week publishing streak gone.

Given my focus on content diets, I have a strict rule of thumb for every piece of content I create for myself and Kanso. These two criteria also work as a great filter for content consumption (I encourage you to steal this):

1) I want it to be deep. The enshittification of content has diluted our attention spans to near nothing. I can’t get through a full-length movie anymore without checking my phone. It sucks. I want every piece of content to help rebuild your attention span.

Sidenote: One of the worst “trends” to come out of the most recent AI boom is the summarization of long-form media. While I agree that many non-fiction books (specifically self-help) could probably be a blog post and most meetings could be an email, there is still magic in consuming something in its full and intended form. You never know when a seemingly irrelevant single sentence or soundbite can pinpoint exactly how you feel in a specific moment.

2) I want it to leave the viewer feeling better than when they started. This can take shape in many forms, but examples include inspired, educated, heard, seen, aware that they aren’t alone.

This means the content I make needs to be great. Novel. Thoughtful. Driven by real-world experience. 

And last week, I had nothing great to give.

Good creative output requires rich, multi-sensory input. Recently, most of my time has been spent collecting a lot of great input which will surely create great output over the coming weeks.

In the last 30 days, I’ve hosted Kanso Here & Now events in San Francisco, London, and NYC. Popped over to Toronto for a childhood friend’s wedding. Probably spent 30+ hours on flights or in an airport. As I write this, I’m on a 5.5 hour flight back to San Diego.

Below are some highlights from all three:

For some, this sounds exhausting (and at times it was), but I’ve found it incredibly energizing for one main reason: the people

Every day, I’m more convinced that relationships are the single most important investment you can make, along with your health. Not money, career capital, or productivity. 

Everything good in life (including all of those) compounds through people.

Your ability to communicate is the lever. It blows my mind that “speaking” is still considered a “soft” skill. It’s the skill. And it’s damn hard to master.

The only way you get better is by putting in the reps. But reps don’t happen in isolation. You can’t learn this through texting, TikTok doomscrolling, gaming with your friends, or even reading How to Win Friends and Influence People alone in your bedroom. You learn by being out in the world, meeting people from different cultures, fumbling through awkward conversations, bombing small talk, recovering, trying again.

In most social interactions, small talk ends the same way: someone pulls out their phone. It’s the modern-day period at the end of a sentence. A clear signal that the conversation’s over, and we’re retreating back to the safety of our screens.

But at our events, that exit isn’t available. With no digital escape hatch, you’re forced to stay in it. You push through the friction and sit in the silence for a beat longer. And on the other side of that discomfort is something rare: deeper conversation and connection. 

It’s not hard to see where our society is headed. People see their friends less than ever. Every age demographic is finding solace – sexually, platonically, and emotionally – with AI companions. They are being integrated natively into nearly every social platform with billions of users across the globe, employing armies of developers to figure out how to get people to use them more.  

Sadly, we’re trading the messiness of human interaction for something easier, lonelier, and far less real.

That’s the scariest part. It’s not that AI and social media algorithms are getting better (it is, and it’s a constant mindfuck to think that it’s the worst right now that it will ever be) but it’s that millions of people are opting out of trying to be social altogether. 

The world is tilting toward isolation, and the people who can still create presence in a room are going to stand out. Massively.

If you can be the person who brings warmth, energy, and attention, you’ll have an advantage in every part of life. Work, love, friendship, leadership. It all compounds through human connection.

I’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating. There has never been a better time to be a people person. 

My Businesses & Social Links

If you’re looking to improve your digital wellness, here are a few places to start:

Kanso Experiences - Unforgettable phone-free social experiences for ambitious people who are tired of the feed and hungry for real relationships.

Kanso Reset45 Cohorts - A cohort-based bootcamp to reprogram your tech habits in 45 days. If you’re interested in joining, reply to this email.

Kanso 1:1 Digital Wellness Accountability Coaching - For those who need high-touch, personalized support and daily ongoing accountability.

The Digital Reset Journal - The first journal designed to help you build a healthier relationship with tech

Digital Detox Tools - A free directory of 100+ digital wellness tools to integrate into all areas of your life.

Follow me across platforms:

X/Twitter (@GinsburgRandy)

Instagram (@randy_ginsburg)

YouTube (@KansoRandy) - a lot more coming here soon

LinkedIn

You can find Kanso across Instagram and TikTok @unplugwithkanso too.

That’s all for this week. Now stop scrolling, and go do something great.

— Randy