The Solution to Too Much Texting

Author

Randy Ginsburg
October 31, 2024



I’ll be honest with you…no matter how successful I am at staying off social media, texting has been my Kryptonite.

I spend ~1.5 hours per day texting (give or take 30 min), some for work, some for scheduling, and some just shooting the shit with friends.

As we discussed before, the reason technology addiction is so tricky is because the best solution (abstinence) is unattainable for 99% of us.

But there's a crucial difference. With most addictions, the goal is total abstinence – we can quit drinking, smoking, or gambling. But we can't just quit our phones or laptops. They're essential parts of our daily lives.

Our relationship with texting is the epitome of this and seems to always be the problem child for anyone trying to improve their tech habits.

Plus I don’t want to “quit” texting nor am I addicted, but I do want to be mindful of how much time and when I’m pulling my phone out to answer messages.

You can probably relate too.

It’s the #1 communication method for teens (which means parents have no choice) and if you’re under the age of 80 (probably everyone who reads this), I guarantee you’re spending more time than you think texting friends, family, or co-workers.

And don’t get me started on the 24/7 group chats & all of the notifications that force you to pick up your phone and then get hooked on something else.

So, when this question was posed in the Kanso Community Slack group, I thought it was well worth writing about.

Myself and a couple others popped in with some thoughts and then another community member Bill jumped in with a HAYMAKER of an answer. So good that I had to share with everyone:

  • Sign out of the app when you’re done. Require MFA (multi-factor authentication) to sign back on to slow you down even more (everyone should have MFA where available on anyway).

  • If you can use the platform on the web, then delete the app from your phone. Use your browser’s incognito mode to prevent the system from saving your password.

  • Make your password annoyingly long to type in. (All these are methods to slow you down and give your mind more of a chance to consider if this, vs something else, is where you want to be directing your attention right now. As you develop your mindfulness more, you’ll pick up on this as you start moving your hand toward your phone and will pause then and there, and won’t need these hacks anymore).

  • Make a schedule. Like email, pick times during the day when you check. Don’t check at other times. If it’s a message from your partner, does the app allow notification customization of messages from certain people? iOS Messages does this.

  • Put these times on your calendar. Block it off in x minute chunks (say 15 minutes—you decide what’s appropriate). At the end of the time, set a reminder to alert you that your time is up. Going past time is equivalent to logging in when it wasn’t time to begin with.

  • If you still need help, find an accountability partner. They can agree to ask you once a day for example if you “broke” any of your rules. The admission of guilt can be pretty powerful.

  • If that still doesn’t work, then add a “swear bucket”: Find an organization whose values are opposite of yours. Count up the number of times you’ve broken your rules each month and vow to contribute x money for each violation to that organization. Show the contribution receipt to your accountability partner.

    Now everyone say it with me…. thank you Bill!

    I personally love the concept of a Swear Bucket and there are a ton of websites / apps built specifically to facilitate this exact type of set up.

    A cool one I found when writing this post is Forfeit. You set your goal (health, screen time, studying etc) and terms (if I spend more than 30 min per day texting, I owe you $10).

    You submit your progress each day and it uses human/AI to verify if you actually did what you said you would.

    If not, they charge your card. Pretty cool concept.

    Well that’s it for today. Hopefully you found this helpful and there are a few tidbits here that you can implement into your own life.

    Plus — if you’re looking for more digital wellness tips, accountability support, and discourse like this — I’d highly recommend joining the Kanso community.

Resources

Kanso Digital Wellness Coaching: If you’re looking for 1:1 personalized digital wellness detox plans & daily accountability coaching, sign up here.

Digital Detox Tools: A free directory of 75+ digital wellness products, software, and services. Access it here.

That’s all for this week. Stop scrolling and go do something great!

Randy